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Emotional Intelligence – Exercise | Deliberate Practice

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From the Post: Emotional Intelligence – Know Your Triggers

In her YouTube video titled, Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix, Tasha Eurich, Ph.D. in organizational psychology, discusses her research which indicates 95% of people think that they’re self-aware, but only 10-15% are.

If you believe you are very self-aware or not, I challenge you to do this. In your journal start making a list of situations and people who trigger your emotional button. Next to each trigger identify the emotion you experience. Once you can identify the emotion you can begin to come up with ways to manage that emotion.

If I’m going into a meeting that I know will be stressful, I go for a quick walk before the meeting to help reduce my stress. If I don’t have time before the meeting I do it right after. The point is, I know what types of meetings are stressful for me (the trigger) and I know those meetings increase my anxiety (the emotion) about my ability to do my job. 

Ways to manage the emotion

For each of us how we manage our emotions will be different. The challenge is to find healthy ways to manage emotions. Retail therapy and binge eating are not, they may be fun but can lead to others triggers.

Think about reducing or eliminating the triggers if possible. If you can’t, just recognizing that the situation you are about to enter will trigger an emotion, is a step in the right direction. Make a list of healthy ways to manage your emotions.

  • Walking
  • Riding a bike
  • Exercise of any kind
  • Reading
  • Chair exercises
  • Take a break and chat with a friend
  • Daydreaming
  • Meditation
  • Sketching
  • Breathing exercises
  • Listening to music
  • Journaling the experience – this is a great way to uncover new ideas on how to handle the situation or can help you to get to the core of the emotion, the “What don’t I know?” behind your emotion.
  • Talk to a professional – If you want to excel in emotional intelligence, talk to a professional. Asking for assistance is not a weakness, it’s a sign of wisdom. 

 Like everything else, understanding your emotional intelligence takes time and deliberate practice. Be patient with yourself, you will stumble and sometimes fall down, that’s part of growth and discovery. Don’t give up on yourself, you are worth the effort.

Your personal leader library

If you don’t have a leadership or personal library, start one. It is easy to forget about something when it is on your computer and you turn it off. However, there’s something about a hard copy book staring at you every day as a reminder of what you are learning or would like to change about yourself.

Daniel Goldman is known as a pioneer of emotional intelligence. His book, Emotional Intelligence is a great resource for your library. 

Don’t wait for tomorrow, tomorrow never comes. What you have is today and this is the best time to begin anything.

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